There were mass protests in the United States this week over plans to build a brand new Formula 1 track on American soil.
‘We don’t want this kinda thing round these parts,’ said one man who lives close to the site of the proposed track. ‘This here is America. These Eur-o-peens can’t jus’ walk in and build some fancy race track with “corners” and other things I don’t understand and am therefore afraid of.’
Other locals were equally outraged; ‘Building a Formula 1 track here is insensitive to those we’ve lost in NASCAR,’ said a lady carrying a large placard that read simply ‘God made ovals for a reason’.
‘I read about this F1 business and let me tell you this: High revvin’ engines? Carbon fibre? These things ain’t natural and we don’t want ‘em here. I don’t even wanna know what a “Parc Ferme” is but it sounds spicy and disgusting.’
Other protesters seemed equally angry, though some were clearly also confused. ‘No right thinking American would want a part of this F1 thing except that Michael Andretti and I heard he was a Muslim,’ said one toothless loony. ‘No, wait, not “a Muslim”. I meant “shit”.’