Friday night
What mainstream society demands I do tonight:
- Go out.
- Get wasted.
- Desperately seek a mate so I don’t die alone and unloved.
What I’m going to do:
- Stay in.
- Eat fancy pants Marks & Spencers food (“Oakham Chicken, Wiltshire ham, and leek pie” — unnamed leeks letting the side down there).
- Play with my dogs.
- Play the drums.
- Drink Skittles vodka and maybe Sailor Jerry rum.
- Watch either Derren Brown and Peep Show, The Mist, or Man On Wire.
- Write shit on twitter and tumblr.
What we learn from this:
- The only area in which I agree with mainstream society is getting drunk.
- I’m going to die alone. But also fat, drunk and well entertained. And I will then be eaten by my dogs.
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