July 2009
67 posts
I don't own anything else
Someone’s leaving do in work. The email goes around. Not only does it involve karaoke, but it has this paragraph in it:
Our Dress code is smart, no scruffy jeans, sportswear or branded trainers will be permitted into the venue. If you are not dressed suitably for a night out then you may be refused entry to the venue and no refund will be given for your karaoke pod.
I appreciate this was...
“Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don’t make sense
Refrigerator”
– by Rolf Nelson (via biorhythmist)
Had to reblog this, as it made me laugh despite my fucked chest muscles making laughing a painful process. It came out as a sort of strangled chuckle.
How to Buy a Mattress: Advice from a Mattress... →
Mattress shopping, as we’ve previously highlighted, can be quite a confusing experience. Take some off-the-clock advice from a mattress salesman on how to get the best value. Photo by …
The next time that you leave Maybe I’ll have...
Mi tatuaje
joeschmitt:
sniffyjenkins:
I’ve been advised to eat a spicey meal before having my tattoo done this afternoon, as the capiscum in the chilli releases loads of lovely endorphins which will fight the pain.
Sod just the one spicey meal. I’ve brought in a whole jar of pickled Jalapenos, which I plan on chomping my way through all day. My wrist may thank me, but I’m not sure my stomach will.
Or...
1 tag
“Look up ‘idiot’ in the dictionary. You know what you’ll...”
– Ladies and gentlemen: Mister Shane Black.
15 movies
Not the best movies, but my favourite ones, mostly for highly subjective reasons. Off the top of my head, because otherwise I could agonoise over this forever. In no particularly order, except for the first, which is my absolute number-one no-doubt favourite movie ever.
Bladerunner
Grosse Pointe Blank
Ghostbusters
The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Memento
Fight Club
Dr Strangelove,...
Cats 'exploit' humans by purring (BBC News) →
Dogs » Cats. SCIENCE FACT.
Companies resort to employing the Welsh
The recession took a turn for the worse last night as new figures revealed more businesses have resorted to using low cost Welshmen. Unemployment in Wales has fallen by 1,000 so far this year, as towns close to the border are overrun by short, hairy employees who work for vodka and seem to speak Elvish. Wayne Hayes, a warehouse worker from Chester, said: “I saw this odd creature stacking...
WatchThis is definitely, definitely worth four minutes of your time.
adamdnewman:
If you didn’t know, my day job at CollegeHumor often consists of seeing dozens and dozens of actors’ auditions for CH Originals. We see lots of very talented folks from UCB, our favorite sketch groups, and the NY comedy community. A few weeks ago Dan Klein (Pangea 3000, Onion Sports) gave an audition that made us laugh...
1 tag
Watch“We didn’t start the flame war”: a simple idea, well executed. (warning: NSFW).
Babes of the BNP | Viceland.com →
I can’t tell if the whole thing is a parody or if (more likely, I hope) these are genuine, albeit dimwitted, BNP supporters being superbly mocked by a clever journalist. I do know it’s funny though. Examples:
What’s the best thing about living in Britain today? I hate Britain, and I want to move to Spain in the next couple of years, ‘cos our country’s not England anymore. It’s very...
